Narration audition, round 1: the voices this machine renders today

Windows SAPI voices only. Rows = voice and treatment, columns = two lines of the new script. Piper (a download) is the next step up if none of these will do.

Close, but no. There are no rigidbodies, and no constraint solver. It is two points, four limbs, and springs.Same jump, one number changed: a soft head spring. Watch the head trail, then overshoot.
Microsoft David, rate -1, plain
David, rate -3
David, pitch +25%
Microsoft Zira, rate -1, plain
Zira, rate -3
Zira, pitch +20%
David through halumi's cute3a game-voice chain